Rudy Giuliani is busy plugging away at a scream-induced treatment for adult-onset vampirism. Throughout his downtime, nevertheless, America’s Mayor remains to be nominally engaged on behalf of President Donald Trump. And it’s nonetheless not going so effectively.

Current feedback to the Washington Put up recommend that Trump’s authorized protection workforce have totally dedicated themselves to the concept of emulating former president–and fellow accused rapist–Invoice Clinton. Whereas kvetching about repeatedly failed makes an attempt to set limitations on an interview between Trump and particular counsel Robert Mueller, Giuliani really allowed the next assemblage of phrases to exit his mouth:

They could have a unique model of the reality than we do…reality is relative.

We’ve been by means of this all earlier than.

Through the top of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Deputy Impartial Counsel Solomon “Sol” Wisenberg requested Clinton a couple of false assertion made by his legal professional Robert S. Bennett to Choose Susan Webber Wright. Clinton verified the assertion was made. Then Wisenberg mentioned:

That assertion is a very false assertion. Whether or not or not Mr. Bennett knew of your relationship with Ms. Lewinsky, the assertion that there was “no intercourse of any variety in any method, form or kind, with President Clinton,” was an completely false assertion. Is that right?

To which Clinton replied, “It relies upon upon what the that means of the phrase ‘is’ is.”

An anticipated semantic debate adopted, however the harm to Clinton’s repute for truthfulness (by no means fairly steady) by no means fairly recovered. It was a lawyer’s slime-ridden reply for the ages. Maybe able to containing some technical reality underneath the load of tortured interpretations and syntactical caveats, however at its core the assertion was purely comprised of shit from a high-priced bull.

Giuliani’s newest pitch doesn’t fare significantly better for his consumer. Talking about reality in a authorized continuing is kind of a methods away from the overall thought of relativism in both a philosophical or anthropological sense. Take, for instance, cultural relativism. That is the non-controversial concept that totally different cultures ought to be described on their very own phrases, taking account for variations in language, tradition, reasoning, thought and so forth.

Due to cultural relativism’s unanimous acceptance within the area of anthropology, through the years, historically “true” statements about humanity have been precisely diminished to worth judgments knowledgeable by exterior circumstances and phenomena. The place most cultural relativists dare to tread, for numerous causes, is reality relativism.

As an American poet as soon as mused:

If you happen to hate the style of wine
Why do you drink it ’til you’re blind?
And if you happen to swear that there’s no reality and who cares
How come you say it such as you’re proper?

After all, Giuliani isn’t a giant wine drinker–he clearly prefers non-Newtonian fluids. As for his assaults on the fundamental idea of reality, Giuliani’s not really speaking about any commonly-accepted tutorial theories (and even fringe ones) or making an attempt to broaden our collective epistemic understanding of Humanity, God and Legislation.

We might solely hope for such a T.V. present. (And we’d be blessed to have such a civic spectacle produced by Eric Wareheim and/or Tim Heidecker.) Fairly, the efficiency artist previously often known as Hizzoner is just making issues up simply in case his consumer, the president of america, commits perjury. It’s an try and work the refs that’s extremely prone to fail.

As for when Trump may lastly have the time and inclination to take a seat down with Mueller? Giuliani says the interview will most likely happen inside “the following couple weeks.”

This timeline ought to ring acquainted to these apprised of Giuliani’s truth-deficient cant as of late. A “couple weeks” is similar period of time Nosferatu’s inheritor beforehand gave CNN’s Dana Bash when pressed as to how lengthy Giuliani would take to wrap up the whole thing of Mueller’s Russiagate investigation.

Giuliani’s first “couple weeks” has now gone effectively into the second month. However possibly Giuliani’s simply utilizing some type of revolutionary calendar solely out there to the MAGA set after a sure variety of mind worms have been achieved. In that sense, to somebody like Giuliani, the reality is pretty relative in spite of everything.

[image via Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images]

Observe Colin Kalmbacher on Twitter: @colinkalmbacher

That is an opinion piece. The views expressed on this article are these of simply the creator.